Off the Edge
by Alexandra989
Summary: Events causing and leading up to Azula's mental breakdown. One-shot.


Mai and Ty Lee. The only two beings in her entire world whom she had ever trusted. And they had betrayed her. Even worse, Mai had admitted that she loved Zuko more than she feared her, Azula, the princess of the Fire Nation who was next in line to be Firelord! Mai picked her traitorous brother over her.

She acted like she didn't care, but it killed her inside. Mai and Ty Lee had been her only friends since her schooling days at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls. They had accompanied her almost everywhere she went ever since she recruited them for her mission to capture her brother, uncle and the Avatar. They were even with her when she was taking over Ba Sing Se.

As she sat alone in her bedroom at the Fire Nation Palace, shrouded in darkness, mulling these unhappy thoughts, an image of Ty Lee formed in her mind. But not just any image. It was Ty Lee's expression when Azula had tried to recruit her. She had seemed so desperate; she didn't want to leave the circus. She was so happy there. And Azula had just came along, and ripped that happiness away from her.

_No wonder she hates you. _

Azula sank into deep depression. She had never been betrayed by anyone her whole life and this was too painful. But she tried to compose herself and pull herself together. It would not do for her father to see her like this, weak and vulnerable. She was very well aware of the fact that Sozin's comet was coming very soon and she was looking forward to see the day when her father would use its power to destroy the entire Earth Kingdom. The world would then be theirs. Their dream would've come true.

Azula wanted to be by her father's side when he conquered the Earth Kingdom. She wanted to help him do it. She was one of the world's most powerful firebenders after all. And anyway, it was_ her_ idea to destroy the whole Earth Kingdom. She had every right to be by her father's side, watching and helping him execute her idea. But the Firelord had decided she should just stay behind in the Fire Nation. She had to stay at home like a little girl while she watched her father burn the world and the Avatar. It just filled her with mad rage, combined with the pain she still felt from Mai and Ty Lee's betrayal. Yes, she was going to be Firelord, but it wasn't enough.

She went for several nights without sleep. She was tired and frustrated and Mai and Ty Lee's betrayal kept playing again and again in her dreams, disrupting her sleep. Eye bags started to form beneath her eyes. Nothing was going her way. And things were made much worse when the Dai Li came to her five minutes late. Those earthbending fools! Why she recruited them in the first place, she had no idea! They were most probably trying to betray her just like her two former best friends had done. She banished them right away before they could do anything of the sort. The fire sages were no different. As she banished each and every one of them, she felt a sense of relief. One less possible traitor. She had to ensure during her reign as Firelord, no one should dare to betray her.

She sat on the Firelord's throne, surrounded by her blue flames. Somehow, they didn't seem to be the same. There was something different about her flames; something had changed. A firebender's fire represents them and she noticed that something was wrong with hers. It wasn't her. She wasn't like this.

Li and Lo. She was surprised at herself for not remembering they weren't firebenders. What was wrong with her? Why was she being like this? Was she suffering from paranoia? That servant girl... the pit in her cherry... She had originally wanted to show mercy to the girl but something inside her had prevented her from doing so. There was no doubt the servant girl was trying to choke her to death so... so they wouldn't have her as a Firelord. Did they hate her so much? For the second time in weeks, Azula felt her heart ache.

What sent her straight off the edge was her hallucination. She had been in her room, doing her hair up, ensuring that it was perfect. Everything had to be perfect. As she looked up to survey her appearance, her face was distorted with rage as she noticed her finger stuck in her topknot. She yanked it out and gathered her bangs together.

"Alright hair, it's time to face your doom!" And she grabbed a pair of scissors and snipped them right off. She grinned at herself maniacally in the mirror but that grin slowly faded as she noticed someone else in the mirror. Someone familiar.

It was her mother. The mother who had been banished five years before.

"What a shame. You always had such beautiful hair," Ursa said.

"What are you doing here?" Azula snapped.

"I wouldn't miss my own daughter's coronation," Ursa replied, looking innocent. It enraged Azula.

"Don't pretend to act proud. I know what you really think of me. You think I'm a monster," she spat back. As she said it, she remembered those times when Ursa sided Zuko and never glanced at her. She was barely given any attention. It was always Zuko. She had overheard her mother telling someone else that she was a monster, she was a sociopath; she had problems. She had never really shown it, but Azula yearned for her mother's love and attention. But she hardly ever got it. Once her mother wanted to have a talk with her, shortly before her banishment. But all she had wanted was to get information from Azula about her father's plan.

"I think you're confused. All your life you've used fear to control people. Like your friends Mai and Ty Lee," said Ursa, sadly.

Mai and Ty Lee again! Azula pushed it to the back of her mind as she turned away from her the mirror. "But what choice do I have? Trust is for fools! Fear is the only reliable way! Even you fear me." She didn't notice Ursa's absence in the room.

"No, I love you, Azula. I do."

Ursa loved her. Her mother loved her. She had always thought such a thing was impossible. Ursa had never shown love to her. Or had she? Those days when they played together with Uncle Iroh and Lu Ten on Ember Island; they had been such a happy family then.

Tears came to Azula's eyes before she could stop them and she grabbed the item nearest to her and flung it with all her might at the mirror, wanting her mother to just disappear. As the mirror shattered and so did the image of Ursa, Azula broke down into tears for the first time in years.

...

She had been so determined to win the fight during the Agni Kai. One thing she noticed when fighting Zuko was that he had grown much powerful. If that wasn't enough, she wasn't sure why her fire seemed so out of her control. Everything was out of her control these days! It made her angry and frustrated.

She had heard how little Zuzu had redirected her father's lightning and it would not do to have him redirect hers. Her eyes fell on the Water Tribe peasant girl. Zuzu would definitely jump in and save her. And so she shot her lightning in that direction. To her delight, Zuzu did jump in and got hit by lightning.

And the Water Tribe peasant was attempting to heal him. She had to be stopped. Azula had no control over herself as she attacked the waterbender every time she had the chance only to be finally frozen in ice and chained to the drain. She wasn't a metalbender; she couldn't get free. She watched with raging eyes as the peasant healed her brother and as they stood up and faced her, her life replayed before her.

Her childhood when she had frequent success manipulating others; days spent at Ember Island; Lu Ten's death, Ursa talking to her just to get information; Ty Lee's clear sadness at having to leave the circus; Mai and Ty Lee's betrayal; her father leaving her behind to be Firelord; her servants attempting to betray her; her mother's words.

And Azula was sent right of the edge of her sanity as she breathed fire and cried out all the pain she had felt throughout the years.

**As much as Azula is mean, I felt sorry for her in the finale! Even more when i saw her in the Promise Part 3. I can't wait for The Search! i really hope there is a reunion between Azula and her mother.**

** Hope you liked this one-shot! Please review and let me know what you think of it!**

** I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender or Princess Azula. **


End file.
